How to Change Self-Limiting Beliefs: 3 Tactics and 1 Strategy

Self-limiting beliefs. We all have them.

And the extent of your thinking will be limited by the beliefs you hold about yourself and how you relate to the world around you.

You may think of yourself as “the fat guy” or “the guy who doesn’t get girls”. That’s your self-image.

Your self-limiting beliefs supply your self-image with information to say “this is you”.

Today, we’re going to examine those beliefs so you can work to change how to see yourself.

In this article, you’re going to learn:

  • What people get wrong about changing core beliefs
  • Some examples of self-limiting beliefs you may have as a man
  • The unconscious bias you may have towards self-destruction
  • How to overcome your self-limiting beliefs

A Quick List of Self-Limiting Beliefs You May Have

self-limiting beliefs, list of limiting beliefs

If you’re a normal person, you desire success in many areas of your life. Financial success, relationship success, spiritual success, so many areas.

Yet, you have unconscious negative core beliefs holding you back from making progress.

Here’s some you may have with money.

  • Making a lot of money is hard.
  • People with money are bad people.

How about with women?

  • If I talk to attractive women, I will get rejected.
  • All women are just after a man for his money.

What about your work life?

  • Starting a successful business is almost impossible.
  • I’m not smart and never will be.
  • I’m not good at math or analytical stuff and never will be.
  • I’m not creative and never will be.

What about being social?

  • People won’t like me if I’m assertive.
  • I can’t talk to strangers.
  • I can’t be my real self or I’ll be criticized or judged.

What about life in general?

  • I’ll always be addicted to [a certain behavior, drink, or drug].
  • It’s too late for me, my good days have passed.
  • Success is for everyone else, not for me.

And these are just some. We could sit here all year and list the inner conversations people have with themselves.

If you have some of these, you know how hard they can be to eliminate from your consciousness.

What People Get Wrong About Changing Beliefs

self-limiting beliefs, list of limiting beliefs

When people are trying to change a negative core belief about themselves, they look for advice.

And that advice usually comes in the form of:

Just think positive and everything will be just ok.

While I don’t at all discredit powerful and positive thinking, it isn’t the whole equation, nor even half of it.

Here’s why:

For the most part, “thinking positively” is a function of the conscious mind. Your conscious mind is 5-10% of your behavior at any given time. The other 90-95%? Completely subconscious.

The human brain and nervous system is a supercomputer. In fact, the earliest computers were modeled after a human brain.

Since the brain is a computer, it can be programmed. This is referred to as the art and science of “psycho-cybernetics”.

The core of your negative self-limiting belief system is a hardwired subconscious network that manifests itself in neural connections.

Your negative core beliefs were reinforced by repetition, either from yourself or others. Usually, we get beliefs from other people, then we formulate them into our own experience. We do this enough times and it takes a life of its own.

In order to change your core beliefs and negative belief system, you need to get into the subconscious mind and change them (which is easier said than done, trust me).

Changing these are at the core of what is known as “shadow work”.

Understanding The “Node Strategy”

self-limiting beliefs, list of limiting beliefs

A good way to think about changing and overcoming self-limiting beliefs is that of a “node”.

Think of your brain as a neural network (which it is, after all) of interconnected nodes.

If you link up a certain combination of nodes, you get a physical and chemical reaction in the form of proteins produced by the body.

One of your self-limiting beliefs is a node or a complete network of nodes. What happens when you’re effectively able to change the node or network?

You change the entire structure as a result.

Eventually, you have a completely new latticework, a completely new belief system.

It’s a ripple effect. Small changes lead to big results, especially over time.

“This all sounds great! So let’s start changing the beliefs!”

Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.

Three Major Obstacles to Changing Your Core Limiting Beliefs

There are three major obstacles standing in the way of you changing your belief system.

These are tricky and sly devils that will pass under the surface of your detection. You need self-awareness to combat them all.

Self-Limiting Obstacle # 1: Confirmation bias

Every person has a set of beliefs, habits, and identities for themselves and other people. Taken collectively, this is called a paradigm or worldview.

When your paradigm is challenged by external beliefs or situations that run counter to what you have experienced in the past, you either block it out or twist it so it fits that new paradigm.

Your brain does not like to create new neural pathways, so it engages in confirmation bias. This is the tendency to sculpt sensory information into a predetermined pattern that fits your beliefs.

For many situations, this is fine. But this is absolutely deadly when it comes to getting rid of self-limiting beliefs.

Self-Limiting Obstacle # 2: Absorbing too many opinions

Our world is more interconnected than ever.

That means more opinions, beliefs, etc, etc, etc.

I believe (haha) that some beliefs are better to have than others.

For example, some people believe that the world is going to the shitter. Some people believe that we are better off than we ever were before.

Who’s right?

Both, actually. It depends on which perspective you look at.

If you want to be a bossman who is kicking ass at life, which belief is going to serve you better?

In this scenario, this is a good kind of confirmation bias. You need to encounter beliefs and opinions that will serve you better and help you reach your goals easier.

Self-Limiting Obstacle # 3: Easy thinking and lazy beliefs

There are certain core beliefs that you have made to make your life easier and keep you comfortable.

Most of your self-limiting beliefs communicate in the form of emotions, so these beliefs serve to keep you emotionally stable and keep you away from “feeling bad”.

Some of these are indeed the limiting beliefs I listed earlier.

Since you don’t want to do more than you feasibly have to, you create these structures that prevent you from doing the hard, drudgery of change.

In the modern era, this most often takes the form of procrastination and doing the trivial many vs. the vital few.

Today, there are many things that will prevent you from doing that hard work to change. TV, Internet, useless games, so many things.

There are so many things that you can live a life where you did nothing of value to you.

Ways to Change Core Self-Limiting Beliefs

Now that you know the “why”, here’s the “how”.

Positivity Challenge

self-limiting beliefs, list of limiting beliefs

For a certain period of time, whenever you have a negative or limiting belief, quickly re-frame it.

Since repetition creates or breaks a habit, do this for about a month and you will have established a new habit.

Here’s a simple example:

Man, it’s raining. That sucks. I wish it was sunny outside…

Man, it’s raining. That’s great. That means plants will grow because of it!

That’s a small example and somewhat inconsequential, but mainly to get you thinking of solutions rather than problems.

As I said, positivity is not a panacea. It’s just a way to get your mind to start thinking of alternatives.

Read more about the positivity challenge and creating a mental diet.

Exposure to the New

self-limiting beliefs, list of limiting beliefs

One of the reasons why I think travel is a good thing is because it gets you thinking of new perspectives.

If you are exposed to the same environment, the same people, the same way of life over and over and over, your brain and neural structure will literally fire (and wire) the same way.

When you encounter a new situation, your brain works as hard as it can to create a new conception around it.

Starting a new job, traveling to a new country for an extended period of time, or changing your routine are all ways to create new neural connections and as a result – overcome self-limiting beliefs.

Challenge Yourself

self-limiting beliefs, list of limiting beliefs

Many of us don’t know how much we can do unless we push ourselves.

Most of us use little of our mental capacity at any given time.

Ask yourself: when was the last time you really pushed yourself in any given arena?

It’s harder than you think.

Once you break past a belief barrier, you start to see that any barrier you have can be destroyed given enough resources.

Then you break the next and then the next. Very soon, you will see that your potential is virtually unlimited.

Who knows how strong you can be in five years? Ten years?

Conclusion + Wrapping Up

Realize self-limiting beliefs are largely unconscious. If you change one, you shake up the paradigm, until the paradigm breaks.

Embarking on positivity challenges, new adventures, and challenging yourself are three ways to

There are many ways to get rid of self-limiting beliefs, many of which reach beyond the scope of this article.

This is meant to give you a quick primer so you can do some deep exploration on your own.

I wish you the best luck to do away with your self-limiting belief systems and become the person you want to be.

Now, I want to hear from you. What are you doing to change and get rid of your negative core beliefs? Let me know in the comments.

5 Responses to “How to Change Self-Limiting Beliefs: 3 Tactics and 1 Strategy

  • Banmu Olivi
    7 years ago

    Worth reading it…….basic principles of life that if one apply it in life or not has conditions attached. I agree that life is not all about magic or chances. One has to apply simple truths in words and actions to to enjoy life in its fullness. I am encouraged by the articles published “12 Limiting Beliefs Hold You Back” and “Gain Radical Self-Reliance and Crush Life”. Will continue to read more of such.

  • Proud of you for putting this out there for young men like yourself. (And “mature” ladies like me lol) I’m a proud momma of a young man pursuing his dreams to give hope to others! Keep up the good work!

  • I want to change easy thinking and lazy beliefs because it limits me from accomplishing my goals

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